During and after a traumatic event, we need other people. Relationships are key to helping individuals and communities heal after something bad happens.
Social connections can reduce the impacts of trauma. They let us lean on others during our times of greatest need.
Strong relationships can bring people together, even those who feel alone or excluded.
Social connections take time and energy to build and maintain.
It’s worth investing in trusted relationships. When they are formed, those who have experienced trauma can feel supported and find hope for their future.
How can I build social connections after trauma?
Look at your current relationships:
Think about the people who are already in your life.
This might include family, friends, co-workers, or neighbours.
Ask yourself: Can I turn to them for support?
Find community social supports:
Are there nearby groups and organizations you can join?
Look for clubs, groups, teams, committees, online forums, and more.
Connect with cultural and identity-based organizations:
Are any groups related to your culture, identity, or religion?
This might include family, friends, and others who share your values or beliefs.
Map out your social connections:
Write down or draw a diagram of the connections you have just identified.
Include people and groups from across your personal, community, and cultural areas.
Plan to connect:
Select one connection to reach out to first.
Make a plan to do that using the S.M.A.R.T. method: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely.
Coping strategies are activities or exercises that can be used to manage stress, reduce unpleasant emotions, and help improve your mood. They can be internally directed activities or outward behaviours. They can be individual or social.
Engaging in coping strategies is one way to help maintain mental and emotional well-being. It can be hard to find the energy and time to do this. However, coping strategies do not need to be big or elaborate. Having a few easily accessible, go-to tools can be very helpful.
Here are some coping strategies you can begin to put in place right away:
Set and keep routines that help with work-life balance. Focus on a healthy diet, enough sleep, exercise, and time with friends and family.
Set small goals for yourself. These will give you a sense of accomplishment, and signal that you are taking care of yourself.
Find a sheet to assist with setting small, manageable goals here.
Pick up a hobby that gives you pleasure. Set a goal to engage in this hobby regularly.
Practice deep breathing. Inhale for four counts, exhale for four counts, practice for four minutes. Deep breathing sends oxygen to the brain and helps relax the body.
Find several deep breathing exercises to try here.
Positive self-talk. Redirect negative thoughts by reframing them.
Learn more about reframing and positive self-talk here.
Visualization and sensory grounding. Pay attention to your five senses and visualize positive images. For example, imagine the sounds, smells, and sights of a calming scene.
Find a guided audio visualization here, and sensory grounding instructions here.
Self-care. Go for a walk, engage with your religion/spirituality, journal, read a book, take a nap or bath, listen to music. Do something that feels good!
Sometimes you are exposed to situations that challenge your sense of right and wrong. These experiences can vary in how long they last and how intense they feel. They can stir up feelings that range from mild moral frustration to more serious moral injury.
Understanding moral challenges
A moral challenge might cause moral frustration, such as worrying about the state of the world. Usually, this feeling does not affect you too deeply or last for very long.
Moral distress can bring up emotions like anger, sadness, and guilt, although it rarely has a lasting negative effect. Being lied to or having something stolen might cause moral distress.
A potentially psychologically traumatic experience can be a singular event or an ongoing situation. It is a rare but intense violation of your deeply held moral beliefs. Many PPTEs are high-stakes scenarios that can create long-standing challenges in how you see yourself or other people.
Types of potentially psychologically traumatic experiences
PPTEs can happen in different ways, such as:
Transgressions of the self involve doing (or not doing) something you think is right.
Transgressions of others happen when someone else’s actions or inactions go against your morals.
Betrayals occur when people or institutions you trust let you down.
Examples of potentially psychologically traumatic experiences
Things that might be considered PPTEs include:
Seeing something harmful or immoral happen and being unable to stop it.
Experiencing misconduct from a trusted person or institution.
Feeling unsupported by leadership after a major event that went against your beliefs.
Carrying out orders you believe are immoral.
Feeling like you should have done something to prevent someone’s death or injury.
Witnessing suffering in others caused by actions that were committed by you or someone else.
Signs of moral injury
After a PPTE, you might notice changes in your emotions, behaviours, and social life — perhaps even your beliefs. These could include:
Feeling exhausted or disconnected from your work and the people around you.
Feelings of shame, guilt, anger, or hopelessness.
A sense of betrayal or injustice.
Loss of purpose or sense of identity.
Having difficulty concentrating.
Losing trust in yourself or others.
Isolating or feeling cut off.
Blaming yourself.
Struggling with your spiritual or existential beliefs.
Self-sabotaging, self-harming behaviours, like using alcohol or drugs to cope.
What can help?
If this sounds familiar and you think you are experiencing a moral injury, here are some steps you can take:
Write down your thoughts and reflect on the values that matter to you.
Talk to people you trust, like colleagues, family members, spiritual advisors, peer supporters or your friends.
Seek help from a mental health professional.
Learn more about moral injury within your community (e.g., first response, health care, military).
Resources
If you are interested in learning more about moral injury — particularly among essential service workers — you can read:
Moral injury is the potential outcome of witnessing an event that goes against ones moral beliefs, or participating in the act oneself. Moral injury can also be caused by feeling betrayed by someone you trusted, like a coworker, supervisor, or workplace.
It often results in intense feelings of guilt, shame, disgust, and anger.
What is posttraumatic stress?
Posttraumatic stress (PTS) is a response to traumatic events that one has personally experienced, has learned about happening to a loved one, or has been exposed to. This could include actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.
PTS symptoms can include:
Reliving the event repeatedly in your mind
Having nightmares
Avoiding family and friends
Having trouble sleeping
Losing interest in enjoyable activities
Avoiding places and people that remind you of the event
Some people with PTS also experience dissociation. This means that they feel disconnected from themselves, or feel like things happening around them are unreal or unfamiliar.
Though most people who experience a traumatic event will have a strong reaction, many will recover over time. Experiencing trauma doesn’t mean you will develop PTS.
Psychological trauma refers to lasting emotional impacts of living through or learning about a distressing event. These events, known as traumatic events, can be singular (e.g., assault) or repetitive (e.g., abuse), and while some people are more likely to experience a traumatic event, these may happen to anyone, regardless of profession or background.
Importantly, if you are having trouble managing your emotions, reactions, or day-to-day life following traumatic events, please seek support.
Common impacts following a traumatic event include:
Muscle tension
Low mood
Feeling “out of control” of your actions or emotions
Increased irritability or anger
Memory difficulties (e.g., gaps, loss)
Disinterest in activities you used to enjoy
Short-term memory challenges (e.g., forgetting where you parked your car)
New difficulties controlling negative patterns of thinking (e.g., feeling hopeless)
Difficulty with concentration and decision making
Increased intensity or frequency of fear responses (e.g., more easily startled)
Changes in how you think about yourself, other people or the world around you
Recurring thoughts, memories, or dreams about the traumatic event
Difficulties with sleep (e.g., falling asleep, staying asleep, waking up in the middle of the night)
Withdrawing or disconnection from your surroundings
Other impacts of psychological trauma that aren’t talked about as often include:
Dissociation, which is a way to “numb out” when things get overwhelming, through disconnection from our surroundings, and can occur either through depersonalization or derealization.
Depersonalization: Feeling as though your body does not belong to you, or as though you are “outside” of your body.
Derealization: Feeling as though things around you are unreal or strange (e.g., as though you’re in a movie).
Guilt, which are feelings of having done something “bad” or “wrong” following the traumatic event. Often, these feelings may show up as thinking about past events and thinking that you or someone else “could have” or “should have” done something differently. Sometimes people may even feel guilty that they survived an event that another person did not. This is known as survivor guilt, and can lead to feelings of negativity about ourselves, or even thoughts about whether we “deserved” to survive compared to those who lost their lives.
Shame is the feeling that part of me is “wrong” or “broken,” and can be a very challenging emotion to navigate following traumatic events. These events may make us feel like the way we reacted means something bigger about who we are as people, or even as though the traumatic event that happened was somehow their fault. Shame is a negative feedback loop that can stop us from wanting to seek help because we may feel like we do not “deserve” to live a stable, healthy life.
Moral injury is a type of stress response that occurs after a morally distressing experience, where we feel that our own deeply held morals have been violated in some way. Symptoms can include psychological, social, behavioural, and spiritual changes that might impact how we see ourselves or other people.
Moral stressors and our associated moral reactions exist on a spectrum. Moral challenges may prompt feelings of moral frustration but do not lead to any lasting impairment, such as worries about “the state of the world.” Moral distress brings up moral emotions and causes short-term increases in distress levels. Experiences such as being lied to or stolen from might induce moral distress, but they are unlikely to leave lasting impacts. On the far end of this spectrum are morally injurious events, which cause moral injury.
Vicarious traumatization, also called secondary traumatization, is something that can be especially challenging for individuals who work or volunteer in public safety, military, and healthcare settings, due to their more frequent exposure to victims of traumatic events and violent acts. This can occur when we hear about or witness events that have occurred but do not have direct impacts on us as individuals. The symptoms that occur following vicarious trauma are similar to that of experiencing a traumatic event personally.
Having trouble coping with your behaviours, emotions, or social changes following a traumatic event? This may be a normal reaction to witnessing, experiencing or hearing about traumatic situations that people go through. However, if this is causing you a lot of distress or getting in the way of how you would like to live your life, it may be important to seek support.
Supports can include:
Peer support
Talking with family or friends
Religious or spiritual leaders
Mental health professionals
Self-driven activities that may help reduce distress include:
Identifying people, places or situations that trigger your stress responses in order to increase your awareness and cope ahead
Labelling your emotions as you notice them rather than avoiding them
People use substances like alcohol, nicotine, cannabis, and other drugs for many reasons. Some use them for medical care, recreation, or religious traditions. Others use them to handle stress, pain, or trauma.
During hard times, people may lose access to healthy coping methods like exercise or socializing. Some may start using alcohol and drugs. Others may increase their existing use.
Disasters can reduce or cut off access to legal substances, pushing people toward unsafe alternatives. Hazardous events can also make it harder to get medical help or support.
Substance use and mental health are connected. Stress caused by a crisis or hazardous event can potentially lead to anxiety, depression, and other issues. In-person support groups, doctors, and health care providers may be harder to access at these times. Ideally, virtual alternatives can be available or quickly mounted to bridge these gaps.
Substance use is different for everyone and can be viewed on a spectrum with varying stages of benefits and harms. If you start to notice that a family member or friend is acting differently than before or is having problems in various aspects of their life, they may be struggling with substance use.
Hard times can lead to episodes of family and/or gender-based violence. Stress, financial hardship, and social isolation can make existing tensions worse. In some cases, substance use may also contribute to violent behaviour or make it harder for victims to seek help.
Violence can take many forms, including physical, emotional, financial, and psychological abuse. It can happen in any relationship — between partners, family members, or caregivers. If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, support is available.
The activities you perform have a strong impact on your mood and how you feel. When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it can seem hard — or even impossible — to do the things that bring joy and meaning to your life.
However, engaging in enjoyable activities is a powerful way to boost your mood and make you feel better. Reflecting on the activities you already do and do not perform is a great step towards making a positive change.
Low mood or high stress can lead you towards feeling less motivated and less able to engage in the activities you enjoy. This can further lower your mood, energy, and motivation — repeating the cycle.
Activity monitoring involves tracking your daily activities and noticing how each one affects your mood. For example:
You can use a calendar, a notes app on your phone, or a worksheet like this one to list all the activities you do during your day. After each activity, reflect on whether it improved or worsened your mood. Give it a score ranging from 1 (worst mood) to 10 (best mood).
Track your activities for a full week to create a snapshot of your daily life. At the end of that week, take a close look at your records:
Which activities led you towards positive moods (6–10)?
Which activities led you towards negative moods (1–5)?
Were there any days with few or no activities that made you feel happy or gave you a sense of accomplishment?
Can you see any gaps in your schedule where adding enjoyable activities might improve your moods?
Try to notice patterns in the data.
Based on what you’ve just learned, plan a few short activities for your upcoming week to support your well-being and mood.
Choose activities that you find enjoyable and/or help you feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.
For example, if you observe that your Monday evenings are often gloomy, schedule 15 minutes of self-care, such as going for a walk, listening to music, or participating in a hobby you enjoy.
These scheduled activities don’t need to be lengthy — but they should be intentional, so you can build consistent engagement with positive experiences into your daily life.
Stick to the schedule you’ve created for the new week. Pay attention to how the added positive activities make you feel.
Lastly, give yourself credit each time you follow your new schedule.
Regularly participating in enjoyable and meaningful activities can boost your mood and overall well-being. In turn, this increase in energy and motivation can help you stay engaged with those activities.
Problem solving helps break complex problems into smaller, manageable steps. This makes it easier to decide how to create a plan of action and what to do first.
This process can be stressful. If that happens to you, bring your mind to the present using the S.T.O.P. strategy:
O — Observe what’s happening around and inside of you.
P — Proceed mindfully. Ask yourself, “What can I do right now to help solve this problem?”
Define the problem
Indecision often happens when you don’t fully understand the situation. This is why it’s important to clearly define the problem when it occurs.
Break big problems into smaller parts. Be specific.
Focus on solving one part of the issue at a time.
Decide ownership! We often take on other people’s problems, so it’s important to ask ourselves: Is the bad thing happening to me, or is this someone else’s concern?
Set a goal
Once you understand the problem, decide what you want to happen. Setting a clear goal will help you figure out what steps you need to take to resolve your situation.
Try to use the S.M.A.R.T. method:
S — Specific: What exactly will you do?
M — Measurable: How will you know when you are done?
A — Achievable: Can you really do this given your time and resources?
R — Relevant: Is this plan aligned with your bigger goals?
T — Timed: When will you finish?
Brainstorm ideas
Think of as many ways as possible to meet your goal. Don’t worry if an idea is good or bad or realistic or not — for now, just list everything that comes to mind.
If this is difficult, think about trusted people in your life and imagine how they would go about this.
Choose the best approach
Work through your brainstormed ideas. For each one, ask yourself:
What are the pluses and minuses for this option?
How much time will this take?
What might happen if I do this?
When you’re done, review your answers and pick the idea that seems most helpful.
Put your plan into action
Write down your selected steps to success. You are ready. Start working to solve your problem!